Bratty Slut's Personal Corner

Part 1 Note: Merry Christmas Daddy. I hope you'll enjoy this little Christmas gift I made for you.   His fingers lightly brush along my body as we lay by the fireplace talking about our first conversation online. The dim lights makes our little Christmas Eve moment a little more special as it was our first time physically together. His smile gives me the little butterflies despite being deadly sleepy from my flight to Great Britain. He wanted to take it further but I shook my head, rejecting it altogether. I could see his disappointment in his eyes. However, he smiled and stroke my hair knowing that I would want to treasure this moment with him.  The truth was far different from that though... Me: Daddy... Daddy: Yes, Babygirl.   He looks at me with his beautiful grey-blue eyes, stroking the ends of my hair gently.  Me: Mmmhhmm... Can I give you your Christmas gift earlier?  Daddy: Do you want yours earlier too?  Me: *thinks* Why don't Daddy de

Walking into BDSM, the last thing on my mind was a relationship. However, with the Ancient One... it was his sincerity and his vulnerability that opened the door to my heart - making me believe in the possibility of finding the right man. I was in a dynamic. He is married. It never occurred to any of us that anything could ever happen. It started with my innocence of eating ice cream. Who would have ever thought, the perverted Ancient One was thinking of a human popsicle. He said he wanted 'ice cream' too and I told him to go for it. He came back beaming - he had his 'ice cream' and that's when we both realized it was a genuine misunderstanding.

I knew dead on that I'm in trouble. I should have paid more attention to Daddy's instructions and the discussions we had in the past few weeks. He has hinted many times yet I've been really ignorant about it. Daddy looked at me – his eyes dead-on furious as he observes me carefully, deciding what to do. “Where is he?” “He's in the bathtub. I thought he wants to rape me” I whimpered in fear. “I'm sorry, Daddy. I'm sorry. I didn't know”. Daddy was furious at first. He then took a deep breath and pats my head lightly as he shushes me. “It's okay baby girl. You didn't know... you probably forgot. I'm sorry I scared you.” He then bends over to face me and said, "We talked about this baby girl. You knew it will happen within this week. Yet, you've not been paying much attention uh." He gave a threatening look that I've not seen except during days I was being a brat and was being punished. I panicked but I couldn't say a word. I

I could hear the rain outside. I pulled my comforter higher up as I snuggled, rub my face and hug the warm body beside me. Wait, did I say warm body?! I opened my eyes and look at the person beside me, speechless. Daddy was naked beside me on the bed. I blinked and rubbed my eyes. It must be a dream. He was supposed to have a meeting this morning. I followed him as he had work and he thought it would be fun to have me taking a break out of home – by the beach for a little bit. I looked at him – torn between waking the beautiful Italian man in front of me or to have him in my arms for a little bit more. I was about to wake him when he said, “Don't question, baby girl. Massage my balls and lick your favorite lollipop. I've been watching you for a while.” I rubbed my eyes awake. “Hmm... Morning Daddy”, slowly looking at him as I could see his eyes still covered by his right arm. I find it amusing that he knows what I'm thinking although he's clearly not looking at me. Wit

I was suddenly dragged into a room. Unknown to anyone; unknown to me. Probably, 2 people, I knew but they're not the ones that needed to talk to me. The room felt bare. Dark. Silent. Until he spoke. No, I don't know who he is. The only word that came to my mind then, Mysterious. If you want to imagine, it'll be like the movies where the spotlight is on me and the ones that interviews and observe are nowhere to be seen - only heard.

Have you ever wondered how it feels like to talk to your inner voice? It feels like it's you yet wiser,  deeper and patient. Here's my conversation with my little... Closing my eyes It's where I am now... Where am I? In the depths of your very own mind. How? It's your choice, not mine. Why? You did say you'll not run. When? It's anytime you are ready... anywhere you physically might be. What now? Listen, breathe and believe. For you are safe. I'll not hurt you baby, I promise I won't. And so I did... stepping a little into the depths of my own mind. Afraid yet aware of my fears. Unshaken for it is all of me. And so... words again flowed in.  The way it always had been... Why am I like this? Why do I always end up here? The voice in my head smiled.. "For you are alone"  Is this the way it will always be? Loneliness cannot be replaced For it's within you Deep into your soul you are. I embraced

(Daddy's View)  I couldn't stop tapping my finger on the table, It's been ages and my clearance is still not coming through! Why?! Why does a stupid unexpected security breach is happening right now?! It's been 7 hours, I'm 5 hours late! I spoke to Richard, the head of the security team. At least let me make a call but protocols are protocols. I hate protocols yet who am I to say when my personal life with baby girl is all about protocols! No, this can't be happening... I can't let her be suffering. I need to do something! My anxiety was getting to me. I remembered her words, “Daddy, can you not ignore me? Will you stay with me?”. I know how hard it is for her – and here I am, punishing her in the toilet for over the time limit. This isn't going to be good. Shit... (My View)  I think I've lost my voice. I could no longer cry. It hurts so much. It hurts more inside. I don't know what to do... I am scared... Daddy, where are you. It&

I was sitting down in my room, questioning my existence of love. I choose to be poly for I no longer want to be hurt. Tying myself down to one or binding myself with a commitment to one feels more of a burden I'm throwing to another as I struggled to find my footing on this beautiful earth. Poly works for me as I have more of a choice - to turn to the different partners for the different needs I have, yet I learn to realize I'll never be satisfied for nothing completes me. And so... I decided to write. Not knowing how it'll be. I allowed myself into my little space and here's my internal conversation.

He put his cold fingers on my back as he caresses with an unbelievable amount of tenderness. Every inch of his love could be felt through that soft touch of his. I ache for him, trying to arch my back closer towards him but to no availed. Tied, bounded, locked at a position – my belly on the bed and blindfolded. There's nothing much I could do. I let out a loud moan and he pulled my hair roughly, inching his face close to mine. I could feel his heavy breathing as his lips caressed my face, about to reach my lips. But before I could feel it, he stuffed a ball gag into my mouth and locked it down. I moaned but it sounded like a sniffle. He laughed coldly, “Finally, my little brat isn't gonna be able to fight back with both holes ready for Daddy to play.”. I struggled in my reins and failed miserably – moaning in response. “So, baby girl. Tell daddy. Which hole do you want me to use today?”. I couldn't respond to him. “Baby girl, 1 finger for your cunt. 2 for your ass.

A relationship is born through a bonding of trust. One of which the dynamic of respect, honour and faith to their partners. With this, BDSM is different from any regular relationship - in my eyes. When it comes to a Friend With Benefits relationship, it encompass a bonding of trust, communication and connection. This however doesn't need to be deep for its about being as friends with sex as the topping. The fear is when lust becomes love for one or the other - when one isn't there to commit. This comes to me wondering what if... for a BDSM relationship. Would it be worse for the connections reign deeper - sipping into our souls?

Master Dom held my chin softly. He looked conflicted - between guilt and anger. I looked at him resigned. After all, he is the one that I gave myself to. He is the one I have committed myself to. He saw my submission in my eyes. He sighs. "I know I have done wrong but I need my closure. Will you do what I'm asking of you?" I looked at him. "I'm all yours, Master. I am for your use." He grabbed my collar and he walked out the car into the hotel. I followed him 2 steps behind as per usual. We went up to the penthouse and Master knock on the door. A butler opened the door and greeted us. "Master Dom. Welcome. Master Horace is waiting for you in the room." Master nodded and walked in. I followed curtly.

I couldn't stop crying. These people are rough. I am being torn apart - physically. I was in so much pain. I hate this. I don't want this. *Smack* I felt another hard slap on my face. I could feel the trickle of blood on the side of my lips. I couldn't stop screaming when the man behind was roughly taking me in my ass. Someone gave up and stuffed a gag ball into my mouth. I moaned and screamed. I tried to release my bindings but nothing worked.

It's been 3 weeks since he got back from his business trip. For some odd reason, it feels as I'm getting on his nerves as of late. Just yesterday, he was screaming at me and questioning my work. My colleagues were not happy and there's nothing much I could do, as I'm his Slave outside the office and he expects obedience at all times. He calls me into the office again. This time, he pushes me to the wall and hungrily kisses me. I responded openly, hungry for this kisses and his firm touch. It's been 3 days he last fucked me. He kept leaving me on the edge, not allowing me to touch myself throughout the day. I do hope I will get some release today.

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The butt plug was not uncomfortable. I feel it's fullness at every step I make; even when I'm sitting down. It was poking into me and My Lord have noticed my edginess. He looks at me amused. “Feeling its fullness, Kitten”. I just nodded. He came across the driver seat and whispered to me, “Good. I love to see your face this way.”. He sent shivers throughout my body, sending a surge of excitement into my cunt – building juices within me. Mmmhhmmm... We stopped by a fancy restaurant. He came out of the car and opened the door for me. Before I could come out, he whispered, “Give the Valet a peek” and winked. He took his hands out smiling. I held on to him and walked out of the car. It wasn't hard to give anyone a peek at the dress was short. I pretended to drop my bag as Tony passed the keys to the valet. And I wiggled my ass a little before pulling myself up. Tony gave me a huge smile as he saw the Valet's shocked look.

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It's now 6 pm. We're expected to be at the party in 2 hours time. Master called me to the bathroom. He took a wet warm cloth and wipe me thoroughly. He cleaned me up only with the wet cloth. Cleaning up my juices and my ass too. He even wiped my feet. He was tender, a different look from what he had earlier. Gentle and loving. The shift in his behavior confuses me sometimes – the inconsistency is getting stronger by the day. However, I left him be. I love him. He made me the way I am after all. He finally spanked me with a laugh, “It'll be fun today. Enjoy it alright. Stay in your Sub Space and you'll be fine”. I nodded.

What do you think of rules and structure? To those that knows me, I seriously hate them. I hate them so much that I ensure that no students or interns called me by the title "Miss". I'll allow them to call me by my name or nicknames like "Pretty" or "Comel" (Cute in Malaysian Language). I just didn't like the idea of someone thinking I'm better than them. When I first came to the BDSM scene, I had people approaching me with their names. "Slave", "Sir", "Master". I'll always opt to call them by their names instead (or their nicknames). In was the same for Master. I called him Shem when he questioned, "Yes what?". And he accepted it at first, when I called him by his name. Only with time and with trust, it escalated to Sir - followed by Master. It took me a while to get used to the titles. When I first started off, it was easier to call someone Daddy than any of the other titles. I feel inferio

Something feels very different today. My mind just couldn't sum it up yet. Master is being extremely tender with me, caressing my ass as he is lost in his thoughts. Even when I twirl my tough around his head and kissed it, he barely gave any recognition which he normally does with a jerk. Today morning's routine feels awkward as I don't feel his presence with me entirely. It's been going on for a few days but today seemed to be very apparent. I thought about talking to him about that but maybe he's just piled up with work as the management team is changing again. He suddenly pulled my hair and looked at me with his dominating eyes. Without hesitation, he suddenly shoved his dick into my mouth as deep as he could. The sudden intrusion did not give me any time to breathe or to relax. I gagged. He held me there and kept pushing himself in. His balls on my chin, I could feel the short pubic hair of his growing – itching my chin along the way. I was losing my breath bu

Remember this my dear Sir Mistakes made are reflections  Of pain, fear and loss  It's never meant to directly hurt you For the other had always been suffering It's neither your fault you're not enough  Nor is it hers for not communicating  It's just how life had always been When our minds aren't strong to withhold the pain Hence I truly pray That your days and night Be filled with love  Let the joy in your heart Be the guide Let it all be free Let the pain dissipate And the angst released Not forgetting the hatred forgiven As happiness to replace them For nothing is more worthy Than your very peace of mind For nothing can ever be enough Than your love for self As the right one is waiting for you to be cleared and free. -BrokenBrat, 10 August 2018

Oh.. how stupid am I To dwell on my pain Oh.. how dumb can I be To be in this living hell When I surrendered My mind, body and emotions I dedicated myself to you With hopes you'll help me through Now, my tide is calm Facing my darkness within No longer I want to be Staying here dwelling In such a short time with you I find depth in myself Emotions and issues arises But they no longer stay for long I want to laugh I want to cry I want to be in just joy And it's caused you believed in me My broken parts you've embraced Hoping to break it down Rebuild from scratch I'm to be Under your marvelous wings I have faith in you As to you I surrendered and trust Turn me from a brat to a woman That's worth your time and space Thank you for stepping in When many choose to sleep Guide me through for I believe in you.  Love, your slave

Writing... I write when I'm in overdrive I write when I'm tired I write when I needed an outlet I write when I'm punishing myself Pain... Physical pain brings me to the moment Pushing all things internal aside But mental and emotional pain It drives me round, running from myself Believing my punishment is to be alone Into the shadows I walk Unaware of the initial idea I had Thinking with this I'll get closure But instead the further and deeper I fall. Again tears are running down Words just kept flowing in But along the way I just had to stop Why oh why am I punishing myself again The storyline this time wasn't important But the pain I want it to be inflicted in me was Guilt, hatred, pain and shame No words could explain what's truly within The ghastly ghost I'm so afraid The demon waiting to be free The guardian being cast away Alone I am in my dark thoughts, I feel This internal infliction must stop It's not Master's responsibility but mine To trul

Each day a new crude message Seeking to berate me Hoping for closure You see, I've loved you From that very first day You're my hope, dreams And my very shelter But life thought me this Love is not everything I needed more Can't you see... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... Daddy please let me go I'm not good enough for you I tried to talk But you're not around So, with swollen eyes I questioned my deepest needs My letter to you Was filled with fear That'll you'll not understand Why I needed this It's not always about sex Or scenes and play There's more I needed For me to stay I'm sorry... so so sorry... Daddy please let me go I'm not ready today My heart and mind Conflicted and torn Between a safe space And actual help I wished you'd observed And understood my silent needs To grow with awareness Though the BDSM path I found my answer A beacon of light He understood what I needed He's patient but strict I'm sorry... Daddy I am... P